Perfect NickName – “The Bearded Guy”
Perfect HomeTown - Prosper, Texas
Perfect Height – 6 foot 9 inches minus 1 foot
Perfect Music – Country (Keith Urban, Brad Paisley, T-Swift, Rascal Flatts, Shania Twain and Carrie Underwood)
Perfect Movies – Tommy Boy, Caddyshack, Shooter, Shanghai Noon, Enemy at the Gates, Rush Hour, The Man Who Knew Too Little
Perfect Loves/Hobbies – Jesus Christ, my family, playing guitar, hunting, deep sea fishing, wildlife photography, mental toughness…
The Perfect Most Embarrassing Moment – Losing to Cody in anything…rarely ever happens!
Perfect Dream Dude Perfect Shot – To have an entire series hosted by Owen Wilson and Jackie Chan in the studio, with Chris tucker as an “In the field” reporter to interview us after a make. Live music would be playing the whole time: Keith Urban, Aerosmith, and T-Swift. They would just alternate song sets. Brad Paisley would also be there to give me guitar lessons in-between shots. Bill Murray would be my A #1 “caddy” to give me balls, range estimates, expert advice, and keep the filming area clear of any varmints. Once I make a shot in a potentially dangerous scenario such as a glacier, crevice, or a very fiery and potentially explosive area, my go to safety guy, Bear Grylls, would be there to make sure I stay safe while also teaching me how to filter my own urine through a headless rattlesnake, while then using the rattle to ward off any cougars in the area. We would be prepared to handle any situation. My beverage provider would actually not be a person, but a wolf. A wolf named “Bear.” And he would be trained to bring me the two greatest beverages in the entire earth…Milk and Dr. Pepper. Security-wise we would need to have my bestest buddy Jonny “2 Shoes” Cobb providing some air support from above. Ground support security would consist of Major Payne with his hand grenades and field knife, Christopher “Big Black” Boykin with his “22’s” and work doin’ mentality, and head of all security would be Jack Bauer. Wow…this combination of champion humans would undoubtedly be the greatest gathering of humans of all time. You could do a free throw for a shot and as long as the above people were present, it would be a beautiful thing. But…since average isn’t really our style, I would say a good starting point would be setting another world record. The world’s longest dunk…shot out of a canon near a semi-active volcano over about 10 helicopters hovering in between the goal and me. I would also like to be on fire, along with pretty much everything else that could possibly be lit on fire. Above me, it would be cool to have some F-16’s doing stalls right down towards me and then pulling away at the last second. Once I flew over the copters and was flying down towards the goal, after I look at the camera and give it a little wink and thumbs up, I think it would be nice to have simultaneous explosions on each side of me kind of like a runway lighting up as I get closer to the goal, obviously increasing in intensity until I finally reach the rim. This is where it gets fun…at this point the volcano should erupt with a massive orange explosion, Aerosmith would be hitting the A#5 power chord at the beginning of the last chorus of “Dream On” (that’s quite metaphorical), a sonic boom would occur from the F-16’s adding a little extra bass, my husky self would still be on fire as I shatter the backboard to pieces and slam the ball through the net, Bill Murray would be shouting “It looks like a mirac…IT”S IN THE HOLE,” and after Bear comes and puts me out (unfortunately probably by urinating on me again, because I just cant help but feel like that’s the answer to every problem when your out in the wilderness…) then I would raise my hands in triumph and begin the celebration. And I couldn’t think of a better place to celebrate than at my ranch with a celebratory meal consisting of my Grandma’s best…biscuits and gravy, fried shrimp, and her strawberry shortcake with some Blue Bell ice cream. That’s a start….
Favorite Place in the World: My Ranch in Morgan, TX
Favorite Words: “Nimrod”, “Schrapnel”, “Hoser”
Things I could do without in life: Soggy beef jerky, needles, losing, sometimes cody, when waiters try and take an order of any substantial size to try and be impressive, but are then forced to ask again, or just get the order wrong…write it down
My 4 G’s of Life: The 4 G’s of Life consist of God, Girls, Guns, and Guitars. All these things are GREAT. And if Dr. Pepper started with a “G” it would be on here too.